These Aren't Just bruises, They Mark Where Someone's Violence and Hate Entered This Body, The Truth about Physical Violence and the Mind/Body/Spirit


 Understanding why a person would stay in a relationship with someone who is abusing them is difficult for most people to comprehend.  I know what people think.  I could have left at anytime so why did I allow physical violence  against my person to continue?  As innocent as this question seems, it is the origin of the most effect legal defense available to abusers, victim blaming. 

Victim blaming has historically allowed defendants to escape justice for criminal behaviors by gaslighting, crazy making and shifting blame.  I repeat the manta "Lie, Deny, Attack, Shift Blame."  My personal testimony includes repeating this mantra to my abuser when he tries dominating me as an aggressor in any way.  I say it over and over loudly and constantly until he stops speaking and disengages toxic behavior.  I don't even let the words spewing out of his stupid face enter my ear space.  He is wielding words like weapons and I do not participate or react in even the smallest ways.  I chant "Lie, Deny, Attack, Switch Blame!, until his narcissistic needs retreat back into his stupid face, lol.  His objective is to belittle me into subordination.  He enjoys my humiliation so I don't allow him any space.  

This mantra describes the act or verb, "to victim blame."  So, if I figured out how to safely escape verbal attacks by not letting them in, what happens when a closed-fisted physical force makes contact with my sweet face?  

The answer to this question explains how the spirit of a victim is broken and how she//he/they often remain somewhere their life is in danger.  With the pain of impact, comes the spirit of hate.  This nasty hate goblin energy doesn't stop where his hand ends and my face begins, It travels into and throughout the body.  I am pretty sure it rickshaws about until the force behind is absorbed into the soft tissues.  His hate travels into my body and the cancer that is trauma remains.  My cognitive behavior therapist used to say, "trauma lives in the body," it doesn't leave the body but rather remains in a dormant state until it is triggered.  Once triggered, fight or flight responses initiate.  

These bruises and broken places are a scared battlefield unearthed by one who wages a private war against the of the spirit of another human life.  Infecting the victim with the disease of victimization.  Energy is transferred.  It can not be created or destroyed. It exists and is in constant motion, it never loses the potential to be released.  There are bruises, those fade.  But they are also tiny graves as little by little pieces of our will to live passes away.  Loosing one's will to live is evidence their spirit has been broken. 

We do recover but we will always have to look ourselves in the mirror and convince ourselves to believe we have value.  While this does improve, our brains have been conditions to accept blame for the violence thrust upon us.  Maybe having CPTSD  does mean we are crazy but I assure you the chicken came before the egg. 



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