Why You Need to Stop Telling Young Women Not to Call you Ma'am! Try "Thank You Young Lady!"

 I recently spent an absorbent amount of time trying to help my oldest child find her wings.  She graduated from college around the time of the pandemic and "failure to launch" affects her generation.    The jobs are not readily available for these graduates.  The pandemic disrupted their college experience, and they have accepted themselves as the "failure to launch" generation.  I feel bad for their timing but there is an overall attitude that they got screwed when it comes to adulting.  

So I tried to help my little bird find new ways to invent herself.  I invested time and money and we both came up short.  What I thought would be a learning experience, completely turned on me.  In the end, I wasted thousands of dollars and a ridiculous amount of time on a project she just discarded.  To make matters worse she now seems to blame me for keeping her from making personal progress.  I was trying to help the child find her brand and explore opportunities.  Everything was going well and then she hit a wall in her life outside of me.  So she dropped the project and turned on me.  I know why.  Everything she had attempted to establish for herself on her own fell through and was deflected onto me.  Her attitude is her problem but I can't control that.  In the meantime, I got crushed.  I poured myself into creating an opportunity and I changed my role to co-worker rather than example,  I spent a year on a project that she abandoned right when success was within our reach.  

I'm defeated and offended and she is no better off because she quit.  Now I am surrounded with loose ends of the project and I will never see a return.  She neither learned anything or made any money.  Because the project was specific to her brand there is nothing I can do with the inventory.  It was a waste of my time, which I gave willingly, and in return, she put forth very little effort. Now she is complaining that this is what has prevented her from moving forward.  This could not be farther from the truth.  She is in her own way and cynical about her future.  So then there was just me. 

I on the other hand learned I could accomplish a lot in a week.  So now there is a void.  It is very hard to let go and my free time is empty.  So I guess I started a blog.  Since my child has offended me, this will not be about parenting.  This is for me! 

To whoever may read this, I assure it will be interesting.  I have lived a lot of life and my experiences are far from typical.  This has shifted my lens to one that I believe is quite unique.   When something fails, we pick up the pieces and start all the way over.  This has been my mantra since I had my daughter in high school.  You suck it up buttercup and try something new.  I'm not one for niceties so here's the truth;  I am sick of always forgiving my child when she does something absolutely nasty to me. As a parent, we always forgive because we have to be there for these new people unconditionally. 

She's grown now, as she very clearly wants to prove this to me.  Well then I guess I'm going to treat her that way now.  I would not tolerate a peer treating me in such a way.  I'm not going to stick around while someone takes out their issues on me.  I'm not a punching bag or a scapegoat; I'm a survivor.  I am a damn tough one too because I have survived myself.  But that is a whole other story.  For now, I will remain offended until this young woman gets right with me.  

News flash "lazy girl" generation, you're only going to get as far as you're willing work in life.  There is no such thing as a "lazy girl job," and "girl math" is embarrassing for you.  You may believe that you are going to get away with riding the skirt tails of my generation, but girl please.  I'm here to tell you, if you don't learn to work hard you're going to do one of two things;  rely on a man to take care of you or get fired by women like me.  Only in a man's world will you get by on being young and pretty and that comes with its own set of challenges, trust me  

To all you young women who have abandoned the concept of respecting your elders, you're come across as entitled little shits and you don't intimidate me!  Do something worthy of respect.  We are already losing our rights as women.  Your children won't enjoy the same rights you had.  There are generations of women ahead of you who fought for those rights and we broke the glass ceiling.  You aren't going to go all the way because your personal Instagram brand makes you special.  We're losing ground here ladies, don't drop the ball for everybody.  Young women everywhere, my first piece of advice is to know when to say "yes ma'am."  It doesn't offend me.  My second, work hard and maybe people will call you ma'am one day.  By then hopefully, you'll be wise enough to find it flattering.